How did you develop your relationship with money? Was it by watching your parents and hearing comments like “Money doesn’t grow on Trees!”, “What? Do I look like I am made out of money?”, or my favorite admonishment from my Grandfather “Gosh darn it Timmy, you don’t
spend that kind of money until you earn that kind of money.” Comments like these, experiencing financially related arguments between your parents and observing their spending habits are some of the ways you learn how to feel about money and how it manifests in your life. What is your first memory about money? What was your first traumatic experience with money? Was it that you did not have enough money for the bicycle you wanted, was it that someone took it from you? We all have a story… These early stories can burn indelibly into your mind and make your issues around money profound. For example, when we are “tweens” – 8 to 12 years old – we do not possess the communication skills necessary to understand the reasons for a business or job loss in our family. We often misinterpret the meaning of such an event. The outside world can suddenly take on a fearful aura due to our sense of loss or lack of cognitive tools to interpret the situation. Without an appropriate outlet for our emotions and thoughts during this formative period, we often develop flawed thinking about money and its place in our lives. Meditation and Manifestation can be powerful tools used to change our relationship with money to one of harmony.
More important than the amount of money you have is your attitude towards money. Your psychology surrounding money forms the basis of most decisions you make about spending, saving and building for your future; as a result it is imperative to understand and develop your awareness as part of your financial foundation.
While holding focus groups about personal money management, I have learned it is rare that parents discuss personal finances with their
children. For some odd reason the main tool used to measure success (i.e., wealth) in our society is left to chance. Generally, money does not become important to you until you are ready to leave home. Suddenly you are faced with money challenges that are new to you. How much of my paycheck do I spend on rent? Often, along with this newfound responsibility comes a challenge to your perceptions surrounding money. It often takes the form of observation: A mentor’s money perspective which is different than your own, your career trajectory, a class in higher
education, or just through participation in “adult” conversation with family members.
The simple sentence “Money is…” finished with a declarative statement by each one of us says a lot about our relationship to money. You need to get clear on your perspective before you can empower yourself to develop a healthy relationship with money based on mature thoughts and lessons you have learned. How do you go about the process of letting go of your negative attachments to money? Are you carving out time with a self-help book or looking to a life coach for answers? A Therapist is not the answer. You can do most of the work yourself by taking a look at your answers to a few questions, evaluating them for unhealthy or negative thought patterns and removing them from your internal dialogue. I use a combination of meditation and manifestation as an approach to change with my clients. Meditation can have a calming effect in your life and is also known to improve an individual’s sense of happiness. The process of manifestation is a reinterpretation of the now famous book “The Secret” re-stated to help you translate the law of attraction into a daily ritual that can yield significant results in your life. The manifestation process can work in all areas of your life, but I choose to use it to assist my client’s realize their personal financial management strategy.
In this series focusing on Financial Harmony we have begun with some foundational principles and will move to the structure you build into
your financial life. Look for upcoming posts… In our next article we will look at the processes for changing our psychology surrounding personal finances in a way that leads to intentional living.
Statistic: The wealthiest 400 people in the U.S. hold more wealth than the bottom 150 Million combined!